One more loser

For the new year, the authors of S*ardonic wish they had a cent every time another wannabe-star loses his or her cell phone. The latest loser on our list is Aryan Vaid. And please don’t ask us who he is – we know little about him, other than that he happens to be on S*ardonic’s favorite TV Show – Bigg Boss. By managing to drown his cell phone along with himself, Vaid poses serious competition to Southie losers Vindya [Link] and Namitha [Link].

We all were supposed to get out of the small boats and into a big one. I had one feet in one boat and the other feet in the other, when the big boat moved. Before I knew it I was in the water sinking downwards. [Link]

Vaid went on to explain that his, er, “sinking” feeling was made worse not by his inability to swim, but because of his cell phone!

Of course I can swim! But have you tried swimming in that deep water at in the morning with your clothes and boots on, and your mobile in your hand? My phone immediately slipped out of my hand and I’ve lost all my numbers. But at that time it was the least of my worries. All I could think of was how to get out of the water. [Link]

Speech is silver: Warmth loving marginal hero edition

Rahul BoseStill think of English August when you think of Rahul Bose? Boy, have the times changed!

No. This is not an excerpt from an Emraan Hashmi interview.

Q: What made you get so gutsy so early in your career?

A: I guess I can drop my pants and my inhibitions because I’m not a conventional leading man. I’ve no image. I’m marginal.

Q: You’ve lots of kissing and lovemaking scenes with her [Mallika Sherawat].

A: The genuine warmth and affection we felt for each other showed up on screen. [Link]

Speech is silver: Catfight edition

To be a cricketer is a good thing. You get to do all sorts of inspirational stuff. Yuvraj Singh, for instance, recently inspired a cat fight. Read about it here.

But a key alleged participant in this alleged cat-fight denies the rumor. When asked about the fight, Shamita Shetty has responded with what we can only call cold hard logic:

I’m not a cat. I don’t indulge in cat-fights. [Link]

Further, she was unable to shed any light on the mystery finger, allegedly attached to Ms. Sharma, which also made an appearance at the venue:

There was certainly no finger shown by Kim at me. I don’t know whom she showed her finger to. But it sure as hell wasn’t me. [Link]

In other news, there seems to be another catfight brewing, this time between Ram Gopal Varma and Karan Johar. The first salvo was fired by Varma, who said he was looking forward to KANK because he loves horror films. Johar responded with:

When he has so much work on hand I wonder why he keeps obsessing with what I do! I know he doesn’t respect my work. But could he please keep quiet about what I do?” [Link]

Speech is Silver: Candid director edition

Following the overwhelming popularity of our last post featuring a candid celebrity [Link] interview, here’s a follow up. Raksha Mistry, who has co-directed the Emraan Hashmi starrer “The Killer”, may not be as much of a celebrity as Dhanush, but she is as just candid. [Link]

On the vital role played by the heroine, Nisha Kothari:

RM: We put her wherever we could, in songs mainly. We didn’t want to push her into the narration.

On why Ms. Kothari is not shy about wearing what she (barely) does, but draws the line at kissing:

Director to create “room” for kissing for Serial Kisser in upcoming movie

RM: That’s Indian actresses for you.

On the accusation that the movie is a copy of The Collateral:

RM: We don’t deny being inspired by “Collateral”. But we haven’t ripped off the original. You have to remember 80 percent of the audience hasn’t seen “Collateral”.

On Emraan’s not kissing the girl (although we’re not entirely sure who was more disappointed – the audience or Mahesh Bhatt):

RM: There were lots of arguments about the kiss between Mahesh Bhatt and Emraan Hashmi. Mr. Bhatt wanted the kiss, Emraan didn’t. The screenplay didn’t require a kiss. And we didn’t want to put it to please the audience. So we sided with Emraan.

On whether Emraan’s sworn off kissing for good:

RM: Emraan is in our next action thriller. Hopefully, there’ll be a room for a kiss. [Link]

A Crippling Composer

Himesh Reshammiya, the popular (snicker) Hindi composer answers a few questions from The Outlook, providing us a window into the workings of His incredible mind.

Your stubble-and-cap look is getting rather predictable, isn’t it?

I agree.

And yet, why are you popular?

Because God wants me to be.

So, the secret of your success is…

God. [Link]

Wait. Hold off on expressing your admiration for the man until you read the next question.

Are you just a passing flavour?

From my first song to my 28th hit, from Tere Naam, the largest-selling album in the last 10 years, to all the jury and popular awards, from the pure classical raag-based film album Benares to the semi-classical Tere Naam or the rocking young tracks in Aashique Banaya Aapne, Aksar, China Town, Tom, Dick and Harry, Phir Hera Pheri, Humraaz, Aitraaz, Janaabe Aali, Niqamma, Mohabbat Hai Mirchi–I’m being called a passing flavour?

So, what are you?

A passing flavour, perhaps… [Link]

Such blinding wit. Throw in the deafeningly good voice, and the mind numbing music – and you got a killer musician on your hands. Thank goodness our feet can still run.

Hottie here. Sudha, are you happy now?

Related posts: Speech Is Silver: The CopyCats Getting Together Edition, Metamorphosis, Speech Is Silver: Blaspheming the Bard Editon, You Go Girl!, Speech Is Silver II, Speech Is Silver

Speech is silver: Of bears and chimps

We are aware that folks in the movie business are known to suffer from narcissism, but this is surely taking things a bit too far. We’re too shaken to make snarky comments and leave it to our readers to make up their own.

When asked to play the Chimp’s father in a movie, the Bear had this to say:
“Stop…stop…I am father to Simbu only in real life not in reel life. In reel life, I am still a top hero who commands crores of money as salary…Even if you dump billions on me, I won’t act as a father. Even to Simbu….!” [Link]

Hat tip: KP

Speech Is Silver: The CopyCats Getting Together Edition

Arya, newest hunk to grace Tamil Filmdom, talks to Kumudam.

Eight memorable incidents from your life…

5. Getting caught cheating in high school.

Name nine women you’d love to date?

2. Kaavya Viswanathan.

What a well read hunk! And what a great pair these two would make… Obviously, they will never cheat on each other, and (equally obviously) they’ll produce some very ethical kids.

Talk about matches made in heaven…

Pooja, who is Arya?s heroine in his next movie. If you want Arya pictures, look for them yourself.

Related posts: Speech Is Silver: Blaspheming the Bard Editon, You Go Girl!, Speech Is Silver II, Speech Is Silver

Speech is Silver: Choosy Actors Edition

Remember Vijaykumar’s son Arun Kumar? You know, the guy who played second fiddle to Bharath in Azhagai Irukkai Bayamai Irukkiradhu? No? The guy dressed in white who played second fiddle to Shaam in Iyarkkai? Great! Now you don’t remember who Shaam is?!

Anyway, this is what he had to say.

Arun Kumar says, “I am very choosy. If I had accepted all the offers that came my way, I would have been no where. Let’s hope my forthcoming movie brings me more fortunes”.

I know what he means. This is like when I told my friend – If I had won the lottery last year, I would have been a pathetic rich guy. Or when I told my father – If I had invented the cure to cancer, I would have had to drag him to the Nobel Prize ceremony. Or when I tell myself in the mirror – If I had a completely different face, six-pack abs and a thick mane of hair, I would have been a disgusting Casanova.

Speech is Silver: The Contradicting Oneself Edition

Koena Mitra, on plastic surgeries…

“It’s a very private thing for any woman to talk about,” says Mitra, the sexy Saki Saki girl from Musafir. “I think plastic surgery is like medicine you take when you fall down. If you realise there’s something missing in you, you go in for it.”… [Link, Indian Express]

Koena Mitra, on plastic surgeries…

“I take it as a compliment if people think I have gone under the knife to look good, when actually, it’s “natural”. People don’t use their brains before asking such ridiculous questions — I am not at an age where I need a facelift. [Link, Midday]

Meanwhile, reports say that Koena has sent a legal notice to MidDay, but not the Indian Express (or SilverScreen). Hmm..

Related posts: Metamorphosis, Speech Is Silver: Blaspheming the Bard Editon, Speech Is Silver II, Speech Is Silver

Speech Is Silver: Blaspheming the Bard Editon

Ajay Devgan, foot firmly in mouth, on his upcoming film Omkara which is supposedly based on Shakespeare’s Othello.

Devgan, who admitted he had not read Othello before shooting began, said the Hindi film was, in some senses, “better”.

“We picked up the story line and it’s completely adapted by Vishal. The way he has adapted it I would want to say he has done a great job — for me it is better than the original, the way he has adapted it.” [Link]

Ajay Devgan, foot starting to tickle throat by now, continues…

“I am not letting Shakespeare down or anything of the sort but when you make a novel into a film, there has to be some changes according to our country — though the whole credit is to Shakespeare…” [Link]

Ajay Devgan, botched attempt at extrication of foot causing it to slide deeper down esophagus, has more wisdom to proffer.

“What I was trying to say (is) the original was not a film, when we talk of Shakespeare,” Devgan pointed out. [Link]

Not a film. Good Lord, who would’ve thought.

And here’s Viveik “characteristically eloquent” Oberoi, holding court on the same subject.

Continue reading “Speech Is Silver: Blaspheming the Bard Editon”

Speech Is Silver II

We firmly believe that Minissha Lamba, the Yahaan girl, as folks insist on telling us, will soon be known for much, much more.

I am surely obsessed with my growing hips. I want them to grow much bigger than they are. And that’s the reason I love doing all those things, which will make my hip bigger and bigger. I feel there is nothing wrong in having bigger hips.[Link]

I am not against the skin show if it is done without any compromise. I love playing characters that runs around tress and frolic in romantic situations… [Link]

Hat Tip: Amit Varma [Link]